When the “Choice” Is Made For You: How I Narrowly Avoided a Forced Abortion

Angela Chininin Buele

We take for granted that our choice is determined by our voice.  We order food at a restaurant, pledge vows during our wedding ceremonies, and explain to family members how we would like to be memorialized upon our deaths.  These are spoken decisions, and there is no argument expected in response.  So, in what is presented as the “right of choice,” it is quite perplexing that a woman who desires to choose life for her baby can face argument, insult, and deceit in the attempt to sway her toward abortion.  Unbelievable?  Well, if it hadn’t happened to me, I might not have believed it either.

My husband and I were expecting our first child, and I started spotting at around 4 weeks.  I sought prenatal care, and the bleeding stopped.  After several weeks, we began to expect that everything would be OK.  But then my water broke at 16 weeks, and we cried out to the Lord to spare our baby.  All around us, friends and family offered prayers and hugs as we waited and trusted.  But the response we received from some medical personnel was surprising.  When I called my OB’s office to advise the doctor of our situation, I was attended by another staff doctor.  Please understand the questions I asked came from my deep desire to protect my child.  And this is not the kind of thing you expect to happen.  Knowing I was not a doctor,  I asked in hope if I might drink more water to replenish the amniotic fluid.  The doctor directly instructed me not to try to do anything out of my usual habits to save the baby because, she said, “It’s going to die.”  There was no compassion.

After that initial call, my husband drove me to the emergency room where we were told that there were risks involved and no positive outcome expected from waiting to see if the amniotic sac would reseal and allow the baby to keep growing.  The doctors advised “induction.”  I insisted that our goal was to keep the baby in my womb as long as possible for his/her benefit.  They regrouped and hit us again with the bleak prognosis of carrying a baby that would almost certainly be terribly deformed.  Again they used the term induction instead of abortion.  I was quite upset by that.  Induction is the welcoming of a baby into open arms, expecting to nurture him or her to the point of thriving.  What they wanted to convince my husband and me to do was quite the contrary.  The aim of their “induction” was to make sure this baby died so we could try to have a “healthy” baby next time.  While feelings are not to be relied upon as indicators of truth, we did feel as if our presence was causing them delays, almost as if the space was needed for something else.  Quite upset by their disregard and deception in the face of our choice to pray for a miracle, we went home.  And waited.  Three days later, our son was born.  Within moments, he died cradled in our tender embrace.  We desperately wanted – and still long – to know our little boy, but we must wait a little longer for that precious reunion.  He was not killed.  He was born alive.  And there is a birth certificate of a live birth from the State of Missouri to testify to that.

I am so thankful that women can use the free services of crisis pregnancy centers to have their questions answered honestly by someone who wants to see both woman and child protected.  What is amazing to me is that, even if a woman tells the crisis pregnancy center staff that she has decided to have an abortion, they pray for her.  There is no false premise, only the wholehearted promise to be there with her through pregnancy and into parenting or adoption.  Even if she has had an abortion, they offer counseling for the pain endured during and after that time.  That is true care.  No matter what.

Key Question: Are pro-life advocates angry at pro-choice advocates?  Do they see pro-choice advocates as enemies?

Unshakable Truth: “David therefore sought God on behalf of the child.  And David fasted and went in and lay all night on the ground….And David said to his servants, ‘Is the child dead?’  They said, ‘He is dead.’ Then David arose from the earth and washed and anointed himself and changed his clothes.  And he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped.”  2 Samuel 12:16,19b-20a

David’s plea is passionate, but he knows when and how to mourn, which does not mean, by any stretch of the imagination, that David’s struggle with his circumstances and his Lord are over.

The Real Choice:  Is your ultimate goal to see laws changed or to see lives changed?

La Prosperidad en el Desierto

Victor Chininin Buele

Cuando nos encontramos deseando algo bueno, algo mejor, no nos debemos sorprender pues eso está profundamente presente en nuestro ser.  Tampoco nos debemos sorprender por quienes busquen aprovecharse de este deseo para encontrar su propia prosperidad en el medio de nuestra infelicidad.

Hace algunas semanas tuve la oportunidad de caminar en la Ciudad de México en una lluvia muy fuerte y paré un momento a esperar a que deje de llover en un lugar que resultó ser llamado la Iglesia Universal del Reino de Dios.  Memorias regresaron a mi mente de programas de televisión pagados en las mañanas de mi juventud que me pedían que pare de sufrir.  Si así fuera de sencillo, ¿verdad?

En una vida en la que he conocido el rostro de la muerte, el rostro de las deudas, el rostro de la separación familiar, el rostro de la tentación, el rostro del pecado, el rostro del desempleo, y el rostro de la mentira, sin saber nada acerca de la Biblia yo sabía que una respuesta así de sencilla, decir “con fe” que puedo dejar de sufrir, no era nada más que una mentira.  Wishful thinking fue la frase que aprendí en mi querida Gringolandia.

Y pues, le dije al caballero ese domingo que aquél era un lugar de mentiras. Y me amenazó con enviarme a la delegación por calumnias.  Por honestidad y por lógica decidí sentarme a participar en dicho servicio para ver si estaba yo cometiendo un error.  Por mucho tiempo he leído de la teología de la prosperidad y sabía que no estaba equivocado.  Pero hay veces en las que hay que ser honesto.  Entonces fui testigo del abuso de las palabras de la Biblia y de técnicas básicas de manipulación emocional y mental para robar el dinero de personas pobres y sufridas.  Seres humanos en gran necesidad.  Y ver las palabras Jesucristo es el Señor en letra gótica sobre el escenario me partieron el corazón.

Este domingo uno de mis pastores predicó acerca de esta mentira.  Él nos llevó al desierto con Jesús en Mateo 4:1-11.  De allí nos mostró que el tentador buscaba aprovecharse de Jesús con seis estrategias:

  1. Sufrimiento – El amor de Dios no es compatible con tu sufrimiento.  Si Dios te amara, no sufrirías.  En la primera tentación vemos que el tentador quiere aprovecharse de la condición de Jesús, que está hambriento y cansado.  “Si eres Hijo de Dios,” le dice. Estos predicadores falsos dicen lo mismo.  Si eres Hijo de Dios, di con fe que no pasarás más hambre.  Jesús responde lo contrario: “Escrito está, ‘No sólo de pan vivirá el hombre, sino de toda palabra que sale de la boca de Dios.'”  Nos lleva al desierto cuando Israel recibió el maná de Dios (Deut. 8:3).
  2. Palabras – La manera de salir de una situación es declarar prosperidad con tus palabras.  Esto es lo que nos enseñan a decir.  Esto sale de las ideas del pensamiento positivo de Norman Vincent Peale y no de la Biblia.  El tentador también trata en esta situación de convencer a Jesús (quien sí lo podría hacer al no ser como nosotros) a que utilice sus palabras para evadir el propósito de Dios para esta situación.
  3. Escritura – Utilizar la metáfora literalmente.  A continuación el tentador va al Salmo 91 y se lo repite a Jesús palabra por palabra.  Ni siquiera le cambió algo.  Le pide a Jesús a que le obedezca y le da la promesa de Dios en el salmo de protección de los ángeles como garantía.  Jesús no cae por esta trampa y le responde con las palabras de Deuteronomio 6:16 que son una referencia a Éxodo 17:1-7.  Jesús nuevamente va al desierto y vence en lo que Israel falló.  Jesús no pondrá Dios a prueba.  Y Jesús sabe el resto del salmo.  Léalo y vea por qué el tentador no citó los versículos que están alrededor de los versículos 11 y 12.
  4. Sacrificio – Debes tomar acción radical y autodestructiva para demostrar tu fe.  El tentador le pide a Jesús a que se lance del pináculo del templo.  Si Salmo 91:11-12 no es verdad, entonces Jesús cometería un suicidio.  La promesa del salmo se basa en que Dios sea nuestro refugio (91:2) lo cual no es lo que el tentador tiene en mente.  Jesús no falla porque él conoce que el sacrificio verdadero es necesario para redimir al mundo del pecado en la cruz.
  5. Éxito– El tentador muestra a Jesús en la tercera tentación un cuadro perfecto, una foto muy linda del mundo y su gloria a Jesús sin mostrar en detalle las dificultades presentes en el mundo.  El tentador quería que Jesús reciba al mundo sin sufrir la cruz.  ¡El Hijo de Dios debe ser exitoso!
  6. Velocidad – Mira todos estos reinos y te los daré hoy y sin demora si me adoras dijo el tentador.  Algunas de las promesas que los predicadores de esta falsedad utilizan en verdad están en la Biblia.  El problema es cuándo se cumplirán.  Se nos quiere hacer pensar que las recompensas del futuro pueden disfrutarse hoy.

Nosotros somos muy vulnerables a esto porque nuestros corazones quieren la recompensa del futuro.

Mi palabra de aliento al lector es esta – Jesús no estuvo solo en el desierto.  Antes de este texto tenemos el bautizo de Jesús donde escuchamos al Padre demostrar su amor a Jesús (“Este es Mi Hijo amado en quien Me he complacido”).  Y en el versículo 1 vemos que Jesús fue llevado, fue guiado, por el Espíritu (Santo) al desierto.  Cuando Lucas da su testimonio de este evento en el capítulo 4 de su evangelio, nos dice que “Jesús, lleno del Espíritu Santo,” fue “llevado por el Espíritu en el desierto”.  Creyente – el mismo Espíritu Santo que estuvo en el hombre Jesús en el desierto es el mismo Espíritu que habita en usted.  Él puede bendecir su conocimiento de la verdad para darle aliento y victoria en la tentación.  Él puede darle gran aliento a usted al recordar la recompensa de vida eterna que nunca tendrá fin.  Dios cumple sus promesas.  Pero no dejemos que estos mercaderes de mentiras se aprovechen de personas en necesidad ofreciéndoles ilusiones.

Lo que leemos en 2 Corintios 8:9 es verdad – “Porque conocen la gracia de nuestro Señor Jesucristo, que siendo rico, sin embargo por amor a ustedes se hizo pobre, para que por medio de Su pobreza ustedes llegaran a ser ricos”.  La pregunta es ¿cuál es esta riqueza? Vida eterna.  Prosperidad perfecta al fin.  Sin dolor.  Sin necesidad.  Esperemos con alegría.

This Might Shock You. I Used to be Pro-Abortion.

Angela Chininin Buele

Most people don’t know that I used to be pro-abortion.  Actually, I was more than politically in favor of abortion; I could have been the poster child for what seems to be “right” about the movement.  You see, I was raped and scared that I might be pregnant.  So I found myself desperate to undo what had been done to me without anyone knowing.  Because I knew that a pregnant woman whose abdomen sustained trauma could miscarry, I decided to punch myself in the stomach in order to make sure I would never suffer the humiliation or shame and blame on the outside that was already quite familiar within me.

How, you might ask, can I now stand against abortion, when I clearly know what it is like to feel the need for relief from such a frightful situation?  I have to say that it’s quite simple and a little complicated at the same time.  The truth is that I was driven completely by fear of what others would say.  I didn’t think about gathering medical facts or imagine what life might be like with a child.  I didn’t get feedback from family and friends or call a help line for a confidential listening ear.  I didn’t stake my claim and charge toward it.  I had a knee-jerk reaction that I hoped would make my life all OK.  After all, it seemed to be an unspoken protocol: “You are going to be in SO MUCH TROUBLE if anyone finds out.”  I was sure I would lose everything if my dirty little secret got out, so I decided that my choice was whatever would make me feel safe in the opinion of others.

In light of that framework for decision-making, I wonder if there are others like me out there who would like to be a whistle-blower to the “choice” women are told is theirs in seeking abortion.  I know I was knocking on that door, not because I didn’t want a baby to ruin my life, but because I was sure that most people would lay eyes on us both and scorn me as a failure for having let myself get there.  Am I the only one who wants to know: “Where is the empowerment in that one-way street?”

I suppose that’s the long and short of it.  I wanted people to like me, and I had learned enough to know people didn’t like people like me having babies.  But, in all fairness, the complicated side of the story is in the medical ignorance under that cloak of social approval.  I was ignorant of the timeline of human development, so I don’t know if my self-preservation would indeed have prevailed over the biological facts, had I been aware of them.  I believe it’s best not to speculate about that point and instead suffice it to say that someone with such high levels of anxiety and such low levels of information as I had, is neither prepared nor empowered to do much of anything to bring peace through secrecy.

Pro-abortion and pro-choice must not be considered synonyms.  What we call pro-choice today really is not about offering real choices at all.  Let me explain.  I was a 10-year-old girl who thought she was pregnant, even though I hadn’t been raped since I was 5.  Yet, somehow, without any direct coaching, I believed I knew how to self-abort, without knowing anything about any other choices or resources.  Or the fact that I couldn’t even be pregnant given that time lapse.  This is why calling the culture of abortion “pro-choice” is not fitting.  Abortion gives women one choiceLife gives women multiple choices.  Parenting, closed adoption, and open adoption are the first three that come to mind.  Gratitude, challenge, and love are three more choices that can fill a heart.  No curette or suction tube ever did anything except leave a woman empty.   Is that really the choice that is best for women?  Emptiness?  I should think not.  This is why being pro-life is the only place a woman can be empowered to see the victory at the finish line.

Key Question: Don’t women who have been victims of a crime deserve to have freedom from carrying a child conceived from rape?

Unshakable Truth: “…for God sent me before you to preserve life.”  Genesis 45:5b

Joseph was left for dead, sold as a slave, then falsely accused of rape, and imprisoned falsely for years.   In the end, he saw that God brought about the rescue of people through that chain of events, and he didn’t begrudge his attacker-brothers or God Himself for his suffering.  He was glad to see good result from his suffering.

The Real Choice: Am I eager to bless others or only myself?

An Open Letter to Abortion-Rights Advocates

Angela Chininin Buele

I have a confession to make: In general, open letters annoy me.  I haven’t read more than a few of them, but the ones I have read have been passive-aggressive and more like gossip-fodder than a genuine transfer of honest communication.  Again, this is a general assessment of a limited sampling of what is a new (to me) phenomenon.

So, seeking to be a true activist, I will have to step past frustration and into transformation.  Instead of insults and snarky accusations, this letter will need to be compassionate and personal.  If that turns some away, I won’t be offended.  But I do hope you will read on and take a moment to hear a cool and fresh perspective on the familiar, sizzling topic.

An Open Letter to Abortion-Rights Advocates

Have you ever felt tired of fighting?  I have.  But then, did the idea of “the other side” winning – or even “gaining ground”- get you charged up to get in a few more punches?  Yeah, me, too.  There have been days when I have actually believed that people on the other side of the fence were intent on seeing people suffer.  But I’ve been thinking that probably isn’t the case.

I think there are quite a few pro-choicers who simply want to see women happy and healthy, and they might get aggravated, or even angry, when someone stands in the way of a woman and the thing she believes will make her happy and healthy.  If that describes you, I’m really glad you are taking a few minutes to read this letter.  I think your determination to persevere through resistance for the sake of another person is an admirable quality.  I also would like to say that the passion we each have for our side of this issue is more alike than it is different.  There is someone out there that needs help, and we have each thrown all of our respective efforts behind one response to the crisis.

You are a person – unique, ambitious, and hopeful.  Those qualities describe me as well.  You are my neighbor, not my rival, not my archenemy, and not the thorn in my side.  You are loved by a lot of people you already know about and by some you may not have ever met – like me.   I don’t want to see you hurt or defeated.  I want you to be blessed, not just today or in this life, but blessed for all of time (Luke 6:28, Romans 12:14, 1 Peter 3:9).

Based on our common vision for the well-being of other people, drive to see our visions realized, and willingness to plead our cases, we would probably be good friends – if it weren’t for the tension.  Am I wrong when I say that this is probably the breakdown point of communication and interaction between our two camps?  This tension, once discovered, can burn bridges and build walls, can’t it?  Maybe you once assumed that the reason you got along so well with someone was because they held the same position, but then you found out you were completely wrong.  It might have felt like a betrayal or at least a shock.  It likely changed your opinion of and/or your interactions with the other person.  I’ve been there, too.

Can we agree that hating each other is not a productive solution?  May I challenge you to see that tolerance alone isn’t the answer either?  Really.  When we tolerate something or someone, we do not celebrate it.  Instead, we allow, we survive, and we surrender to something unpleasant.  So, no, my desire is not to simply tolerate your different passion, but I earnestly want to love you as I love myself, as I love my dearest friends and family, and as I love the tiny unnamed babies that are killed by abortion.  And love, just to be clear, is not blind affirmation, but the investment of one soul in another to see the beauty of a full life developed through growth in good times and trials.  The love of which I speak would hopefully make you feel good, but it is in no way driven by whether or not you feel good.  Its beginning, middle, and end are the pure and perfect will of God for your life – that you would be amazed by no one and no thing other than the Savior, Jesus Christ. There is no greater joy.  There is no greater love.

There you have it.  I have betrayed my complete motive.  You can now choose to check out and nestle down into your own homogeneously-tailored newsfeed, or you can tag along with me for the next 40 days while I pray for you and all pro-abortion rights advocates.  Whatever your choice, please remember that I do not hate you, and I do not wish to simply tolerate you.  I want to fully love you, and I would like to call you my friend.